When you change…

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So I’ve decided to share something about myself with all of you that is honestly my least favorite quality…. I suffer from really bad anxiety!  The last couple of weeks have been extremely rough and though I like to keep my blog positive and uplifting, sometimes it’s good to vent and I hope reading the words I type can give some sort of perspective.

My entire life I have been know as a “worry wort”.  I worry about shit most people don’t EVER think about (you’d laugh if I even gave you a couple examples).  I’ve talked to doctors been prescribed drugs and but utilmately I have always dealt with my anxiety on my own.  In college I dealt with my anxiety in a very unhealthy way… I drank WAY to much alcohol and developed anorexia/bulimia.  Both bad habits carried into adulthood and it honestly took meeting my husband to show me that I loved myself more than what I was doing to my body.

Within the last two years I have bought a house, got married and started a new job.  All big life changes that aren’t recommended so closely together for a “normal person”.  So now entering “real” adulthood I ask myself now how do I deal?  I exercise almost everyday and honestly it does helps ALOT but not all the time.  I clean my house (pretty much every day), again it helps but then again it turns it to something I then stress about not getting done.  I have a great support system but I worry about how my anxiety will affect my future kids, my relationship with my husband, his family my friends.

I am starting to slowly learn that I am my own worse enemy and the most pressure I feel is the pressure I put on myself.  My mom is pretty much my saving grace she is really the one person who can calm me down and make sense of my crazy mile-a-minute thoughts and I can’t bear to think of how I will find that serenity she brings when she is no longer on this earth.

I guess the reason I decided to share my banter with you today is because always remember everyone is fighting there own war.  The positive solution to this bout of extreme anxiety is I started yoga today and I’m sharing this with you!

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3 responses »

  1. The Truth Shall Set You Free! You touch my Heart~You are my Heart. I Love You and I Love that you have found Dr. Wayne! Now listen to Him, cause he nails it! Safe travels today, Love!

  2. Good for you for writing this post. The best part about being honest about something you didn’t necessarily want to share with the world is that opening up DOES create a positive environment for your readers. EVERYone deals with something in their life and how you cope is often a message that resonates with other strugglers.

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