So I’ve decided to share something about myself with all of you that is honestly my least favorite quality…. I suffer from really bad anxiety! The last couple of weeks have been extremely rough and though I like to keep my blog positive and uplifting, sometimes it’s good to vent and I hope reading the words I type can give some sort of perspective.
My entire life I have been know as a “worry wort”. I worry about shit most people don’t EVER think about (you’d laugh if I even gave you a couple examples). I’ve talked to doctors been prescribed drugs and but utilmately I have always dealt with my anxiety on my own. In college I dealt with my anxiety in a very unhealthy way… I drank WAY to much alcohol and developed anorexia/bulimia. Both bad habits carried into adulthood and it honestly took meeting my husband to show me that I loved myself more than what I was doing to my body.
Within the last two years I have bought a house, got married and started a new job. All big life changes that aren’t recommended so closely together for a “normal person”. So now entering “real” adulthood I ask myself now how do I deal? I exercise almost everyday and honestly it does helps ALOT but not all the time. I clean my house (pretty much every day), again it helps but then again it turns it to something I then stress about not getting done. I have a great support system but I worry about how my anxiety will affect my future kids, my relationship with my husband, his family my friends.
I am starting to slowly learn that I am my own worse enemy and the most pressure I feel is the pressure I put on myself. My mom is pretty much my saving grace she is really the one person who can calm me down and make sense of my crazy mile-a-minute thoughts and I can’t bear to think of how I will find that serenity she brings when she is no longer on this earth.
I guess the reason I decided to share my banter with you today is because always remember everyone is fighting there own war. The positive solution to this bout of extreme anxiety is I started yoga today and I’m sharing this with you!