It’s one of those nights…

Standard

I can’t sleep… I hate nights like this when for NO apparent reason I lie in bed wide awake at 12:04am…

 

This time of the year I tend to do a lot of self reflection as I’m sure most people do hence “New Years” resolutions.  Each year I ask myself what have I accomplished in the last year and what do I hope to conquer in the next.  This past year has surely had its fill but the two major ones…

Get married….

Find a new job that makes me happy… (mom this pic is for you)

No one knows what the future may hold but I hope to spring into 2011 with a more positive outlook than I have had leaving 2010.  Some things on my 2011 bucket list include:

Running a half marathon:

Take more pictures (I have my eye on a better camera at Sam’s Club that I may bite the bullet and go buy after the holidays)

Read more…

And the BIGGEST thing I hope to accomplish is too not sweat the small stuff… You would think the older I get the better I would be able to understand and accept that people that I may not know at all or people that I think I know very well are not always going to say or do the things I may think is right or better.  However, I am finding this to be the complete opposite.  The older I get the more I demand out of people… kindness, respect, loyalty, being a mind-reader (all women are guilty of this at times).  And when I don’t get this…. watch out.  I find I congratulate this behavior and look at it as a “mess with me and you’ll pay”.  I’ve always liked this quality about myself… people must earn my respect and if they can’t then there not worth my time or effort.  As I type thing I realize that on the outside looking in how ridiculous this behavior may seem but to me it has been a great defense mechanism… I won’t allow you to hurt me.  Is this a healthy way of living… all signs are pointing to NO.  Maybe this is why this time of year (the holidays) are so unpleasant for me at times.  Self-reflection can be down right hard sometimes and admitting your wrong is a tough pill for anyone to swallow.

So in closing 2011 can be whatever I make it too be and fingers crossed when I am writing this very same blog on December 22nd, 2011 hopefully it will be coming from a 1/2 marathon running, picturing taking, book reading, patient… kinder… less demanding happy me:)!

And now its time for bed:)!

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3 responses »

  1. Best blog post yet in my opinion. Who would’ve known such self-reflection can come from me sleeping next to you while you write? he he he.

  2. Who can not smile when I see that funny picture of you!! When you get to feeling down, or too hard on yourself, read this over and over again! You are beautiful and you will suceed in whatever you choose to do. Mike’s right, this is the best blog yet!! Keep it up baby girl!!!

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